NO MATTER WHAT, I won't go back.

Day 5 and all is well (note the sarcasm). Everything may not quite be sunshine, but it's getting better. I can actually form complete sentences now, and I anticipate I'll be able to have a conversation sometime in the next week that doesn't focus on what stage my nicotine withdrawls are in. I'm like the person going through a bad breakup who can't talk about anything else that everyone wants to avoid. A typical conversation with me goes something like this - "Anthrax, wow, that's too bad. Almost as bad as my headaches. Did I mention how I have the shakes yet? Three times? Oh yeah, I can't seem to concentrate either, did I tell you about my headaches?"I know I'm not going to fail. The worse the symptoms get, the stronger I get. It helped me to make up my mind that NO MATTER WHAT, I won't go back. No excuses, nothing about work stress, relationships, nothing is an excuse. When it got bad, rather than questioning whether I could do it or not, I asked myself how much worse would it have to be before I felt I couldn't go on. Twice as bad, Three times, five times? Haven't I been through more pain in other ways and gotten through? Would I give up if I were facing an outside foe instead of myself? No way! Maybe if it were ten times as strong, then it would be a contest. I check my resolve, feel my strength and I can't even begin to see the end of it. It's good to feel strong again, good to be proud of myself. Good luck to everyone fighting alongside me, post a message and let me know you're doing just as well.